


Do You Need Me To Get Anything From The Store?

by DeansTrapQueen



Series: Based On A Prompt [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: No Smut, Swearing, Threats of Violence, and so is peter in the third chapter, believe it or not, but for like two seconds at the end of ch 1, but it's wade so that's to be expected, you're wade's roommate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-01 01:38:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12145836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeansTrapQueen/pseuds/DeansTrapQueen
Summary: The titles are self-explanatory:Chapter 1: Wade is a pain in your ass.Chapter 2: Wade is kind of creepy but you love him.Chapter 3: Wade is a pain in Peter's ass.





	1. Wade Is A Pain In Your Ass

**Author's Note:**

> All three chapters are based on the same prompt, but they're pretty much unrelated. I thought I'd just put that out there because it might be confusing if Peter is never mentioned in the first two chapters and then he's just suddenly there. Anyway, you'll see what I mean. I hope you enjoy the story!

     Fridge: empty except for some milk and a face mask you made the other day. You make a mental note to use that face mask tonight.

     Freezer: empty except for a bag of brussels sprouts from 2011. You throw those away. _Now_ the freezer is empty.

     Cupboards: empty except for cans of vegetables from the 90s and early 2000s. Ew. You leave them there for Wade (aka Deadpool) to get rid of; cleaning is his job anyway.

     The stash of snacks hidden in your bedroom: empty except for... a vibrator? That doesn't belong there.

     Anyway, there's no food in the house. If you had known, you wouldn't have even bothered waking up. You groggily (and hungrily... and heavily... and - you get it) drag yourself to the living room and plop down on the couch. Your roommate Wade was gone when you woke up, and he didn't leave a note on the fridge or a text on your phone. Hopefully, although doubtfully, he's at the store. You hate grocery shopping, but you're the one who always does it. As if on cue, your roommate walks in the front door. You perk up, hoping, wishing, and praying that he went to the store for once. He throws a McDonald's bag at you, and your shoulders slump in disappointment. Wade sits next to you on the couch and opens his own bag of fast food.

     "Good morning, sweet Y/N. I brought you some food!" Wade says, trying to quell your obvious anger and annoyance. You open your bag and pull the food out. He gives you a nervous fake smile. "I got your favorite, my little -"

     "Wade," you interrupt through gritted teeth, "why couldn't you just go to the damn store for once? You know how much I hate spending my day off buying groceries, putting them away, and then making dinner." You normally didn't mind making dinner, - it's your job, along with doing dishes, and Wade is no Gordon Ramsay if you know what I mean - but you hate doing it after spending hours grocery shopping.

     "Y/N, you know I can't cook and therefore don't know what to buy!" Wade whines. "I would just come back with a bunch of frozen stuff." Shit, he has a point. Even if you gave him a list, he would lose it before even getting to the store, and he would just end up buying whatever he wanted anyway. You sigh and drop your head in defeat, eating your breakfast with Wade.

     " **Do you need me to get anything from the store?** " you ask your roommate before you leave.

     "Well, I was wondering if I could come with you," he says. "You never get the right -" You almost run out of the apartment before he can finish. If you had stayed, you might have stabbed Wade repeatedly.


	2. Wade Is Kind Of Creepy But You Love Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lollipop Chainsaw is actually a fun game (it has zombies!)

     "Hey, Wade, **do you need me to get anything from the store**?" you ask your roommate Wade. He looks up from the game he's playing.

     "Chimichangas, laundry detergent, and lube. Not the lube you got last time; that was crap. Get the good K-Y stuff." You scrunch up your nose and nod. You open the door and turn around to say, "Are you just going to pay Lollipop Chainsaw all day?" He pauses the game and says,

     "I wanna be like Juliet. I hope to find my Nick someday." He sighs dreamily and looks into the distance (which is the wall behind the TV).

     "Uh, Nick is just a head," you remind Wade.

     "Yeah, I know. Damn, I should have been a cheerleader." You shake your head at Wade before leaving. He can be a creep sometimes.


End file.
